In the days of old, when great men...

Often as I stand at the helm of the Narrenschiff, thinking upon the state of things as I sail the world over, I realize how much our world has lost. The Constitution of the United States and our beloved founding fathers are forgotten and misconstrued, not to mention the rights and freedoms we treasure are disappearing like the Lorelei. I am not sure if I want to live in a country that does not allow me to excercise my freedoms on behalf of myself and my children... if I had any.

I refuse to buy into the conspiracy, and I will not release the freedoms my founding fathers fought for. The rising generation is strong and if we shield them from all life experiences, they will never grow and learn; never rise to stand on their own as we did. Scores of politicians, doctors, teachers and other nosy parents are trying to convince me otherwise, but I am not a simpleton. The conspirators' hands are clear. But we aboard the Narrenschiff know we are not alone in this. According to CNN, in the 21 States where the freedom exists to willingly expose our children to the glorifying trials of an antiquated past, "rates are going up," of those employing this freedom.

I say well done America. It is sad reading the news and hearing that life has gotten too easy for young folks and now these fine freedom loving patriots all over the country are not only doing their part to expose their children to the harsh and strengthening breath of reality, but also every other child around them (without their parents knowledge.) But we know better... don't we?

As I often say, lets be honest: Kids today are not as strong as they used to be. Use your "personal belief exemptions" and lets bring back Polio, Whooping Cough, Measles, Mumps, and every other great means of forcing your antiquated and research-void opinions upon the children of your unbelieving neighbors. Disease just isnt as much fun as they were back then.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/10/20/why.not.vaccinate/index.html

http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/10/20/california.whooping.cough/index.html?hpt=T2

Lawyers, Guns, and Money

According to the great man Warren Zevon, if you ever get in a pinch, nothing can get you out of it quite like a mean team of lawyers, cold steel on your hip and green backs in endless supply. However in these turbulent times, when the liberal agenda encroaches on all sides seeking to subtly erode away my liberties, to sell my freedom to the socialists and before I know it, it'll be a cultural revolution all over again. My response, We're not gonna take it!

In the great Beehive state, we have a pillar of virtue, Stephen Sandstrom is keeping the home-fires burning by fighting to abolish those annoying conceal and carry permits and let me carry where I want without uncle Sam's hand in my trousers. Take it from one who knows, I had to take a three hour class to get licensed and lets be honest, I felt my liberty crying for help the whole time.

But seriously folks, why should i not be able to, as the ONN reports in certain states, pack heat when I go drinking with the boys. Uncle Jack does wonders for my aim. It will solve all of society's problems to allow everyman his freedom to carry a gun on his person at all times. Because when Providence revealed the Constitution in its divine form to the founders of our nation, they were thinking of today: who wants to live in a world where every elementary school teacher with a cheatin' wife and crappy job can't carry his piece to defend his life against the daily threats of the fifth-graders? What would Jefferson think about me not being able to carry on my red-eye to Detroit whilst getting my drink on? How would our revered first president, George Washington, react if he knew I was forced to sit through three grueling hours of Captain Dan reminiscing of the last poor sap to try a home invasion on him, and cap it off with a sixty dollar fee to get licensed? He would not be pleased.

I do not think I can be free unless I can feel the cold steel weighing down my belt, and rest with the assurance that every other person I see every day is as responsible as me and would never actually use the weapon they carry around with them. Honestly, I put it to you: its not like people misuse cars when their frustrated, yet even there, I had to drive around the a field in Tennessee, full of right turns and running one red light before they would give me my driver's license... I know, its asking too much.

Think to yourself: Life is better when everyone can kill everyone else at the drop of a hat and pull of a trigger. What? What's that you are smelling? thats the acrid burn of freedom!

Yours,